[Vox pop] Dating in China: Is splitting the bill the new norm?

A large number of the Chinese respondents interviewed shared that in their cities, the man typically pays for dates. However, people from cities like Shanghai and Hong Kong pointed out that going Dutch is already a widely accepted practice. For many young people, especially those just starting their careers, sharing the cost feels more practical and fair. Others, however, believe it’s unnecessary to draw clear financial lines — those who earn more can simply contribute more.

While traditional Chinese culture often emphasises the man’s financial responsibility in a relationship, some respondents felt that relationships today should reflect equality. As one interviewee said, “Both people want to feel respected, and that includes sharing responsibilities, even financial ones.” Yet the idea of men taking on more financial responsibility remains deeply ingrained for some, particularly in the context of cultural expectations.

Participants also shared how their preferences for splitting bills vary depending on the situation. For casual outings, many favoured going Dutch, while for more formal or special dates, they might prefer one person taking the lead financially. Ultimately, the choice comes down to personal values and the dynamics of the relationship.

When discussing whether going Dutch in dating should extend to marriage, opinions varied. Most participants felt that dating and marriage are fundamentally different stages in a relationship. Marriage, they argued, involves building a family, where strict divisions of expenses might not apply. However, some gave examples of methods of splitting the cost, seeing it as an effective way to manage finances.

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